Expectations

I have been thinking about this word a lot lately. Expectations.

A couple of weeks ago my sister (Angel) called me to share that she is 'expecting' her third child.

Yesterday, my brother (Jimmy) called me to share that his wife (Sarah) is 'expecting' their second child.

Expectations can be exciting! I am so happy for Jimmy & Sarah and Angel & David for their expectation of a new child in their life. They are great parents who love God and their family. They deserve all the best God has for them.

One the other hand, expectations can also bring disappointment. Carrie and I want to be 'expecting' a child of our own.

WARNING: This makes me vulnerable. Please handle with care!

Let's face it...we don't always get what we want. Some times it is that we don't ever get it and other times it just doesn't happen on our timeline.

After a couple of intentional years of trying to have a child, Carrie (who I love more today than I ever have!) and I have had some of our expectations vanish. I'm 33 and I 'expected' to be a dad by now.

So what do we do with that type of reality in our life. The kind that we don't want anyone to know about or even acknowledge. After all, I don't know anyone, Christian or not, that doesn't face that type of reality at some point in their life. We all have expectations that are taken away or not revealed when we want them to be.

When I get wrapped up in thinking about it, I can get down. It upsets me. I realize how weak I am. I sometimes get frustrated and disappointed at the same time.

Here are the standard phrases I have used with others going through their tough 'reality' in the past. "Hang in there." "Keep praying about it." "Praise God anyway." "God is in control." "This will only make you stronger."

Sometimes these can sound so shallow. They are not meant that way, but they can come across that way.

Here is the question that helps me get perspective again. It is what was going through my mind yesterday when I was running on the treadmill at the YMCA.

Do I still love God no matter what?

Yes...and I know he loves me and Carrie no matter what as well. Sometimes that is the only thing you can accept...and that is OK. I may never be able to explain all that is going on around me, but I love God...no matter what.

By the way, we are not giving up on having children. Don't take this that we are in dire circumstances. It is just taking longer than we would like.

And we are extremely excited about my brother and sister. We can't wait to see you guys at Thanksgiving!